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work / file 13 (print)
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she walks along a path which shortcuts through an overgrown slope in her head long epic verses split the more important routes from the lesser ones following traces of the fixed ideas of the world which scatter the ravines in the town-centre a sheet-metal facade destroys the horizon makes him tired as he thinks of an environmental portrait finds that disillusion is a matter of position yet she can barely imagine a foggy room from childhood with an exit not bigger than a hand and the rain is driving her thoughts away that slip into the night so she's on her way then now over |
copplestonealleys give outward promises which she can't keep possibility 1.8% he finds himself surrounded by rectangular appartement blocks growing & shrinking at random stalagmite town fades out in the west when the morning air is crisp & whispers in all directions secrets of a wall opposite the market square where drinking is not allowed yet the noise is somehow cosmetic the scene reclaims another glance & she recognizes the devotion in between sophisticated structures as she walks through a lexical image a stoic dream |
about her resisting to crawl into the rhetoric
of truth yet she has believed in it all her life the image transcends
any devious deliberate manipulations remais constant throughout
refuses to see this picture a dying moon over the horizon makes
him shiver as he finds himself between beauty & terror:
stalagmite town reminds him of a version of the same plot he
abandons the book holds his coffee cup (vienna-style) against
the light sees dried coffee stains shining through an obsessive
attention to detail challenged his brain at the edge of sleep
slower now the |
someone holds her under water & she doesn't
want to know who speaks as she crawls for the door to a room
with an exit not bigger than a hand in the darkness she's the
target replacing another i can afford to say these things as
i'm in a denial of almost everything he doesn't pay attention
to what else is happening in the room as he tries to solve a
problem unsatisfied with self-soothing attention he decides
to stop shifting sand & change what is already apprehended
as a shadow of a fundamental anxiety |
town silts inthrough the window panes & scrolls out of sight as time slows a coincidence friendly until the noise fades out she was in it he had a strange sense by accident remains feeding exotic explanations displaced & far too late he deals with profounder esthetic elements seem to involve a mental construction slender & delicately handsome aw bollocks thinks he stories with habits number three a great epos that had become one of his great stories nobody really knows her his absence a line balance between voice & substance |
the underlying strategies however may already have run into potential voids require different states of being & seeing the interplay of human remains essentially in an awesome chaotic world holds true the creation of a substitute whose nuances flow among many others yes but why should this be the case there is little evidence that chaos can be channeled into something good reinforcing the capabilities of his perceptive organs have already left the town lies somehow deserted water is virtually everywhere |
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she stands on the verge of herself watching drops accelerating out of a drain splashing he has realised her aspirations with the salt of realism an even better impression but the town seems hazy sleepy uses shorthand of his own design to express complex states of mind wind gathers forces beyond the door a rusty message switched off obsolete statement without importance there like a subconscious collective response to another statement without importance grown landscapes surround her display an overwhelming number of modified & reshuffled matter |
resources resisting entropy & she's not connected young trees struggle they were put there live in a niche transformed foam living beings into obstacles that stand like sculptures he implies a sublimated attempt to redefine the world's mental universe yet his awareness leads to talking about people & they give him funny looks talking to himself wondering whether these berries are poisonous smile a big red smile he turns his back on the plot inventing not further the water tastes bitter but he continues drinking closing the bottle a man with a foot-long scar looks like he can't be |
bothered failure hurts but through it we learn
few people understand how it works & he doesn't remember
he misses the point for the first time he has come under threat
sees a man with no arms scroutching outside a café and
his dog looks like his owner fifty glorious years then he has
fallen prey to the evil of hundreds of excuses suspend this
loathsome activity she allows herself a second glance but a
deeper reluctance has the last word smells coffee in the air
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to the river made as human as possible black plastic bags mark the land not everybody knows but without the river there wouldn't be a beginning & an end & everything in between concrete wall displays slippery slaps sometimes under water sometimes behind a scaffolding device put together by a scaffolding service leaning against the wall held by dirty water the smell seems toxic & the rain doesn't dilute the sludge he thinks this was amusing buildings defacing prestige apparently they are appalling in their state of decay today at the end of summer she went |
there living within & around it in between
too early & too late later at home she can't think of many
words for passion & love outside non of the windows bears
light she strikes a match because she likes the smell &
deciphers the spine of a book: fiktionen jlb. the image on the
wall appears flat in stray light carved into naught when we
fail to recognise this she has never heard herself talking like
this decides to clear ficticious files off the bending shelves
in the ministries but decides not to be the one looking over
her own shoulders this way she doesn't rely on his fallible
memory |
upon was a truth that had eluded countless six dot matrices thinks about childhood which is why now is pleasure he slips into the night turns to the right follows a white arrow dives into the subway system from where a stale smell of recycled air emerges & behind him cold transparent perspex defies disjoints urban roots a tale of the innocent these dead corridors deserve another glance this time she's not afraid as she remembers a pale concept potentially void he pretends it never happened |
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enter east berlin return to archives: killed at the Berlin Wall the last Chris Gueffroy of them 1989-02-06 introducing interminable delays the compartment & the station unexplained differences the timespan over the crying of a baby were much larger lists but they need people as a source of , , ... .. , source(s) of information on these persons is not given a town's name can not be located in reference books i have added after the given entry my guess as to the correct name followed by a "?". on august 13 1998 a wall to west berlin inaugurated at the bernauer straße (at the corner to the city districts |
nowhere in particular nobody was watching wedding/mitte) east berlin border patrol names are lost citizens of west berlin as she walks over a chess board pattern figures invisible battles resists treason then the wind is turning blue patch on red sand she an ant in infinite motion searching for file 13 fodder for unnourished hopes he has no feelings ram it in hard deep down listens to an insignificant whisper of water running down the gutter orders shouted across a rectangle makes him feel angry as he tries to stay outside the rain escapes will soon find out in these dead ravines hang onlisten |
to this voice oozing in from the outside no location pretending it never happened but the pattern says it did & makes him die at the first meeting he is polite talks about details & connections which the men expected to be replaced by a rather blue print in shorthand adopts a deliberately retrograde contribution develops his own paranoia undermines his tendency towards bizarre standardised repetition of a burden´s moral responsibility & then time rumbles over the remains that used to be her file lying in the dirt he is close to death defeated in defense february |
feels cold & he loses his belief almost made it escape from the lies grass in his mouth realises the first star on the firmament feeling sick bleeding out in front of the fence taken by an automatic bullet subconsciously suppressed smells the blood thursday last september revealed secrets a method to stay silent denial of things to come a simple error but he can't tell when this happened i guess he´s lost passport refused speechless act now it is her turn to enter the doubt false promises long lost pain written down meticulously stored in long shelves written in her face |
i (or else) remembers you now nothing seems real fog curls up & tomorrow is sleep winter turns rainy cold slowly embracing the prisoners laugh the hate ploughs through security enforces separateness successful pens translate translucent pressure into the interim not here not now just a pale concept of what is & she can't understand it either she recognizes a face in the crowd accelerates her pulse turns left vanishes behind concrete pillars close up denied within a second decides to vanish into a sleepless recollection of |
memory portraits the wear and the mischief of a body forced into hidden spaces considerations like these leave him speechless hears a sinking voice & points his fingers to the ground as if this could fix the broken windows (whatever it is it tries to find a direction) point zero makes him watch microbic waves of aging in despair for 3 years he writes against reality writes against life struggles to get over this & remembers himself dying in the dirt reminds me of another version of the same plot & i find myself sitting up against a wall the one which was pulled over |
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er ist erschöpft & durchnässt vom regen als der wachposten frühmorgens eine schemenhafte gestalt an der grenze entdeckt. die zeit seiner inhaftierung gibt anlass für dunkle gerüchte & finstere diffamierungen. seinen gegnern kommen die verdächtigungen entgegen. er habe für das ministerium für staatssicherheit gearbeitet & das leben seiner mitmenschen skrupellos ausgespäht, so die anderen er bleibt bis heute verschwunden ein anderer dagegen ist zurück |
one minute after dawn (he´ll never forget this) he wakes up thinks about going back to sleep which doesn´t start or end anywhere dusting down in careful concentration on how useless bits make one whole then there appears another shape rudimentary conclusions windows are broken & blind wreckage of a broken spasm & she´s not sure whether this is targeting her (or somebody else) as she remembers how she felt the pain & the joy & the laughter before it fell (with all the rest) down an endless stretch of near |
vertical lines but he defends her as he meets with grey men drinking coffee in a conspiracy flat reliability is not given & he´s gone file 17 ends here & now cranes grow in the city overlooking stalagmite pillars transparent aerodynamic representations of the future a simple error urged a dive through muddy waters but it doesn't always feel like that not always but tonight she can't remember what he was called he might have been a dog a lover who cares with his face in the dust he realises that |
truth can be a dead cold kiss & once he got there he was disappointed these are not my eyes this is not my truth & there's so much hope for some but so little for others then right above the crossroads the moon comes up nasty & full but he looks away because life makes him feel old waste & pain information handout & sermon the entire system but he can't tell the difference between the insideoutside world & this is true without love without fear he is prepared to accept everything carved into the wall on her left are crude |
scetches inhabited by hardly visible red mites file 34: over the red sand went over to the shelf found a translation of a translation few things remain down below he spoke less to others than to himself i realise i see another example of writing´s extraordinary flexibility words turn to ashes & she knows about the power of the printed word she wants to clear the files from the shelves the wind collects force but she doesn´t care finds her body is shivering it feels like her body had become unglued from her own image 3 |
persons approach her i thought you said is what i remember & within this i stand & see the old man both hands grab the fence he smiles then he´s drawn out of focus and i decide red cloth a double statement repeated rapidly later a window filled with friction amongst friends when a crumbled man staggers past she feels like a displaced visitor in a temporized zone zone remembers herself in the foetal position & in the streets people litter the space like cones overrun by traffic |
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frosty skyline
reveals 3 trunks of trees was her life not sweet enough?
she´s not sure of the truth because riverrun is always
running as she´s living now spread out in the distance
the town describes the conceptual function of another generation
of detailed plans a disposition of images altering the mental
terrain leaves her alone & a newspaper dies in the rain
& she bites her lip writes in lines as it doubles the amount
of conclusions reads the crowd which serves an essential tradition
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glares cold no sleep & i collapsed before the
finish line like a smashed window & i thought i was in controlfiction
threatens the truth falls 30 seconds into the night lurches
through the streets & heavy rain dilutes fertile disappointments
a fuzzy frame a shadow of a room from childhood with an exit
not bigger than a hand with fragile rectangular lines trapped
in a her struggle she turns left to where grey houses grow |
underground staleness with a hint of coffee thinks not me where a man has no arms but a display of small coins spread out in front of him: symbol without function a moment spills out a man with blurred eyes his fingers yellow he´s decomposing already at the foot of the hill flat city dements an orificial way & i try to match this mist with the streets which makes me feel silent file 17: i stand in front of a shelf full of files forcing their world into mine 2 minds share a whole & he sinks his teeth into grease stained pages cheap mismatch this line |
refers to history pigeons on rooftops she moves
through their numbers listens to their sounds (this page feels
crisp) moves through the shelves along a road through the center
of town she´s not surprised to see her shadow falling
away cruelsome absence she seeks to satisfy her curiosity |
that make the "truth" from the very beginning
on she declared war on this possibility the collection started
when i saw the headline the idyllic pastoral novel becomes a
cancerogenous desert her past & my place in the world he
has travelled in search of this file with an obscure cover (i
have wasted my years on this aim and was sure to meet it) |
keeps walking head down staring at her boots knowing
her biological clock is ticking & the rain looks like chains
it´s mainly what she expects: perhaps the rain gives us
humans the best possible chance to pick up odours i can smell
water all around me i can hear it gurgling in full flow |
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time passes without notice when interiority & exteriority fold into each other as she abandons her future after the collapse of her past no room left for standing reflecting upon being captured in a pale world incredibly slow she grasps identity is never an established fact contested domain in which a belief in nothing is far from nihilistic she slows down at the bridge & scrambles over a wall now towards the river where 3 trees form the matrix of all its embodiments roots into the horizon & shudders for a short while he holds his attention & then she stops to watch the |
moon seen in a wave under green leaves i thought
she´s worried beyond belief he complained save her a splash
against perfectly motionless water names the day i hope she´s
not fallen asked which side then god now virgin but only for
one day yet file 13 is riddled with gaps absence itself replaces
the real & symbolic functions she remembers him a dweller
of the suburbs his slow & resentful life looks at the moon
in the first light of dawn in the rectangle of a window looks
at herself pleased with defeat but i am not |
symbol of the man i am as i write it i am that
man & i cease to believe in him & his write-ups &
his manuscripts because when he disappears so do i) - of course
not the line detours at the margin of a folder´s spine
speaks out the simplest question proposes a view & concludes
nothing motionless utterance part of history found file 1 last
year & she tries not to draw conclusions homes appear ranked
furrowed loose association too narrow |
DIS sol ves sun T EA a croS ssaw it again there
is a sudden obsession that has been skipped into exhaustingly
vast branches the fact of the matter the truth that it never
happened she feels tired after having worked under great pressure
for many months lies in her bed waiting for the rest that wouldn't
come & it becomes clear that she creates aggressive &
sudden climaxes no longer merely trapped she sticks her fingers
in her mouth |
fassade ist anders beschaffen kalt & charakterarm
glasharte rampen verstecken sich hinter einer gähnenden
hülle sie sieht die 2000 leerstehenden läden im alten
herzen von berlin she walks along the wall on which red letters
grow along a fence never leaving any traces file 15 slips out
of control i´m no longer allowed she thinks |
journeys through the East where a town´s name can´t be located in reference books disappear names are lost over the crying of a baby it is a windless sunday & she introduces herself but the door closes fifteen seconds later 6 now people want to give me things tell me things they get removed burned & half buried in unstable coordinates that have been planted in the space behind & in between folders as if looking at herself would help her remember files that are numbered lead through disseminated clues into a deliberately planted void |
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she approaches a pale figure with various scars with probing eyes homeless not innocent in her world bleak aberration beyond the greatest fear she doesn't avoid her struggle with abstract laws & the present kind of isolation in the silence of her doubt when he traces a hideous industrial suburb addicted to her truth was cheated stolen nourished her file each year the memory of his past stands in his way to escape the elusive risk the opportunity to control his entanglement is the only way to avoid a glimpse through the door trace elements onto a rough proposal of a suitable ruin |
she reaches the corner wherea flickering street light cuts the darkness brightens the night air slips unfolds moves & merges into early twilight with bleak endeavour he retains a place my recollections of the three of us in opposite directions stolen photograph a moment in the centre awaiting the patriotic call is ready to repel an invasion is ready to cross the border is likely to fall behind the savage surrealism of the memory as a version of terror in the certain knowledge that this period is always known as itself & melts into her past compiles the propaganda & dreams in a subcutaneous layer of winter |
previously unrecognized absence inspired by intentional
silence emits a painful warning hours after she woke up she
found probing eyes knows what changes the past not such a response
gives her a new form of intimacy history behind reality sleep
the consequences plant this become the river a silent measure
to understand discover & exploit this version of an underlying
fear when the city fails and continuity like air displaces a
storm not in outrageous dispute above the meagre shelter touching
the cold surface of the wall the first part of this message
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silent guards the true form pestering the hour's possibilities as described in file 2: without return without limit begins to throw files on the floor cracks with a low sound of water above her clouds are gathering a few drops fall as she walks along an overgrown path down to the water's edge smoothes under the protective cover of darkness file 5 contains a possible variant reclaims a recollection of overtones between the three of us stolen dissent on line with the wall oblique between two points bears its presence through the town in itself rather absurd remains the one she feels a large proportion of her life betrayed & she reads |
everything deepening her understanding patient
focus on the abundance of fraud despair as exhilaration a transscription
into life eventually her caution establishes the more extreme
means to live in this town cancelled all her hopes records were
picked up by grey men following her around until she turns to
panic & he comes towards the end of another chapter written
in his face |
social order that exists in layers in an archive
looking back she notices a video camera through the plate-glass
front she stops the morning sees the old neighbour again was
hard to tell what the other is staring at photographing and
videoing her magnify directing her length of movements with
his own |
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14 NOVEMBER 1999 finds what he has said runs off scared as hell he misrecognises the alienated subject exhausts the dated language destructs the image that constitutes the moment when none of many images finds recognition his & inside silts out onto the grass that stopped his fall between fence and automatic guns with a carefully managed temporary loss of ego while his eyes leave the domain the space i am and where i was the status of his image recognition can´t be remembered rejects reveals some night stars centered somethinh whole as the wind whispers the normed display of what happened out there years ago never went back never appeals x aking weeks and months she fixes on |
one thought stays still all night he was on the
other side & from there manages to grasp his investigations
when she thought they would be friends as attested by photographs
of love seen through a window & he watched & the pictures
are blind words heard with dark bark past the trees she feels
like one not having been in the open space for too long she
is afraid in the rain is seen when they arrive in grey suits
the socially mute urban people who don't acknowledge her hopes
speeding down a vertiginous isolated terraced street with brand
new buildings & heightened other buildingswhich increase
in instances |
everywhere his mind bound in her steps through
the city she is following his ancient steps she's learning while
somewhere a baby sleeps & discovers her version of the city
feels like trapped air touching a cold surface the first part
of her file falls in the stream once more worthy to merit access
to a multitude of amorphous conjured out of line filled shelvesChaos
scheint der Alltag auf dem Weg im Wechsel von Winterzeit ein
Abstellgleis fällt die gesamte stadt bleibt |
ich gefunden habe in so einem Moment die Zeit Sterbens
krank läßt Allein wie schnell allein mit dem Tod
der Krise hassen sich sinnlos sind im Um Irgendwann stets seine
eigene lang ihm das Buch beschreibt Operation 52 14 Jahre verloren
sterben weiß ich mir selbst zu schweigen? nicht genug
Denn ich hatte das schönste mit ihm das sehen & heute
hundert reden nur noch ihr mühsal Oder das Leben den Atemzug
im jedentag |
Bücher nicht gefragt Wahrheit gesagt gelogen Ich habe ich schweige kommt erdas seine Nacht seinen Tod den entdeckte wie offen Er das Risiko gering ist dass ich das Schwarz nicht ertrage sie einfach glaubt ich schrieb Doch es bleibt mit der Wahrheit in halb kurzer Zeit die Aufgabe von dem es in wenigen Jahren sagt x den Tod in uns tragen nur wissen schreiben einsam bereuen hören im Leben haben sie darüber was zu tun ist oder Die Hand lungen sind vollkommen koordiniert file24 blind mit alten Reflexen der Sicherheit Wochen Monate Wozu? Für wen? stark lädiert bleibt noch ein lebens langes erinnern an sie Es ist ein sonniger tag & Zwei ältere Herren reden über alte |
Zeiten kann mich nicht erinnern jemand war gefährdet Das schlimmste der etwas falsch gemacht war die Sache meine Philo sophie eine Frau eine Welt monate in dieser Welt entfernt das Gespräch ihres freundes nicht mehr Herr seiner Worte zu sein Leben heute Nie hat er miterlebt hat er geredet in seinem Leben ist er frei gesprochen obwohl er so lange in bautzen einsaß political waste fell broken into humili ations later escaped the walls may appear remote are described as mean faith in gunmen who drew their name his anger which still produces continues unchanged anger which will long persist |
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allein auf der Straße ist er leer wie jene Wesen dieser Stadt die bewacht wie ein Kind den Kontakt suchen dann irgendwo den Koffer verstaut mit akten in denen sich konspirativ genutzte Ost Berliner bespitzeln Freunde finden ahnen anscheinend jahre später die mittlerweile aufgelöste Datei von TAGEn IM HeRBST die Macht zur Verfügung Bautzen Gelbes Elend genannt: der Leiter General leutnant kann sich das ganze in sein Elends Gitter nehmen file13 überall zerfallende barrikaden 3o. November sind die18oo Gefangenen aus Bautzen I in den Montags Vollzug gegangen die Lage kaum noch beherrschend |
Operative Führu
ng ist nervös am Nachmittag rufen die Stasi Spitzel nach
waffen verhindert Besetzt die Stasi kein Tag vergeht nach dem
Urteil ohne anwalt unlimited Schwer erAmts missbrauch Korruption
Verdunkelung krimineller systeme Bestärkt konditionen im
Oktober repress ionen fast halbiert in retrospect fragmentary
to introduce Vertrauens schwund rapidly integrated into the
process of a similarly controlled ruling ideology & the
gaze of exhibitionist municative structures repressive domain
remains blind a blind file Akten hinterlassen verkohlte Akten
im Bezirk D |
herown body her seriousness toward a wall in a situation which wasmore visible connected to a Rhythm sought out a strategy adopted the truth with a beginning and an end in the first light berlin kills him as a traitor & the guards appear again make the connection decides time is possessed by their accuracy disappears in Berlin three days resemble their mental state as well as the Wall seen from the east a very dense concept of "blindness" made a gesture to follow the men into a room where he tells me a ceremonial range of politics two sworn towns match what falsifies the sporadic intention and politics of their conflicts saves a hand of cards an incidence which isn't |
passing Like an absurd einstweilen genutzt potentially between here & there den Osten zu verlassen wärestrafbar contrast kein Interesse in more laden ink parallel editing trifft sich vierTage in einer West Berliner wohnung mit seinem Kollegen Der dessen bericht von West Berlin in Sachen mauerflucht vernehmen soll & they believe him explore the trial and as pol i t ical shit cries spends hispast implausible coincidence instability of a man in the same dominant tradition of disguised issues diagnosis of a total lie number of c. miniaturized right Unlike the Burden received i can't remember the purpose although her life depended too |
jaded to take it all
cracked into the Night of an execution which i now might see
executed to visit an individual i admire & he clings onto
her life as though it was his own 4. Dezember 1989 they contact
her when she walks along something resembling a wall along a
mirror that makes her look like a question another version makes
her think she´s actually going backwards towards a permutation
of impressions dating from another century not a dictionary
definition going backwards towards what was |
silence now she can see it as it goes backwards classified & clarified thinks i believed you reading invisible ridiculous acts he has written when nobody was watching a fake or the tissue of lies going backwards she realises the fact that the ground has a painting scribbled all over (somehow it feels right) because i've chosen to be explicit on an occurrence that shows an elsewhere a lie |
max ensslin. oo/o5 (cc)